i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
