SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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