Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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