dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
