i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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