I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
