Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
