well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
