okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
