I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you never un-have a 4some
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize