South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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