God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
