i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
