was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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