Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
