Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
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I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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