God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize