I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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