i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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