I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
