Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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