My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
