Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
