I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Acid is not a monday night drug
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
