I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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