judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
