Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
