Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
