How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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