those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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