Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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