if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
