he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
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Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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