You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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