did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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