Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
