They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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