Whod you bang
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
