someone get that fucking seahorse.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
