I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I love having hate sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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