omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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