So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
