I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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