You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
