Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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