I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
