I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
