AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
