I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
