I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
how drunk are you?
Several
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
