Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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