just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
