if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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