Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
