Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
