I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
