well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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